To miss you

I have always been a solitary creature, not prone to longing of individual or place, content to live with myself, exist with my own thoughts, conjecture and sometimes conversation
As a child I would spend hours entertaining myself, never hearing the door creaking and my worried mother so peeping her bemused head and inquisitive eyes through the crack to apprise and thus surmise this strange child who composed lyrics and plays to entertain the silent and invisible majority that comprised her friends
And though I formed strong friendships and convenient social attachments throughout the progression of my life, with overlong exposure I would feel thus confined and need to break free to the solace and silence of my mind and heart, belonging to the world but never truly apart, I chose to stay apart.
And then there was you. At first our periods of intimacy and companionship interspersed with separation were once again convenient to me, truly too much time with one human let alone a man would previously sent me into a threatened tail spin for fear of losing supposed relished and sovereigned autonomy, avoiding a connection or commitment for fear of rejection of self or reprisal of true character, would someone accept me truly. oh i was not sure.
And as our lives and heart drew closer and you demolished walls erected for closure and protection, i find myself most vulnerable and most open to you and despite myself think of you each moment and long for you each hour. What meaning is this, to miss someone if not hearing beloved voice or seeing sweet face, strange place to call home when all of one's time is spent with one's own and there is neither confinement nor resentment but sweet reality that this is where I am supposed to and most long to be..You are the only one I ever truly missed and the last one i ever want to kiss.