you have to cling together

My husband and I invariably experience periods of discontent amidst the splendor of love. Ok, to more aptly put it, we fight. Not very often, but alas, not very well. There is a rational and respectful method to battle in which each participant expresses their contrary view point in a calm and collected manner, with empathy and understanding reciprocated though the point is not neccessarily agreed. We have not quite gotten to that point. And sometimes our mutual immaturity, in retrospect, shames and humors us. The period of acclimation when a relationship is newly established is tense enough. Integrating lifestyles is accompanied by exposure to new moods, habits and traits not necessarily desired. And we are expected to endure and ignore that which irritates us, as we made a conscious choice to blend lives and hearts. And though blanketed by love, there are proverbial snags in the fabric. And we are no exception. We shout, we pout, and the silence of intropsect and resentment ensues. And though we have gotten better, less delay between inception and resolution, as the initial arguements would last for a period of days and now we are laughing and enjoying each other soon after the heated exchange. Nevertheless occasional criticism and hateful words are flung, which we later so duly regret. How does one fight well? When strong emotion is the basis for a passionate and loving relationship, the dark side to that coin is that those same strong emotions that elicited great love also spark great anger. It is a slippery slope. I love my husband, and yet we struggle with working together when we argue as oppossed to drifting away from our alliance when we have opposing views. An old friend once told me, when asked how she made it through the tense struggles she and her husband experienced when newly married and faced with financial, career and child rearing struggles, that you have to "cling together through the turmoil or else it will drive you apart." Wise words indeed. I feel as though my husband is my greatest ally, the one who understands and accepts me unconditionally, loving me despite and for all components of my being. Perhaps for our next arguement, instead of turning away in anger I shall grasp his hand and literally cling to his love, even while fuming or feeling resentment over something that will undoubtedly prove insignificant in the greater picture of life.