Leave the wine/whine at home

Several years ago, I was out for drinks with an old high school friend. Over a robust Shiraz she bemoaned her fate. Dumped again by another loser with no seeming reason or rationale. It was like watching Ground Hog Day with a bad hangover. I had memorized the script and the familiar players, only with each showing I prayed for a different outcome. My gaze lowered to an expanse of cleavage and tight jeans. Interesting how some styles don't evolve or progress, though the years always do. And with each glass of wine, her eyes became less focused, her words and lips freer, and the truth finally emerged. "He told me I was different, and special. He called me all the time and made all this effort. Then for no reason, his behavior changed, I heard from him less and less, and then it was only to hang out late at night. I don't know what I did. "I asked her a simple question. "how long did you make him wait?" all the while knowing the answer. She averted her gaze, "what do you mean?". I repeated myself, and she proceeded into a ridiculous diatribe of self delusion and denial. Telling me that my views were antiquated. That if grown people wanted to have sex and the consent was reciprocated, it did not matter. And whilst I agreed, that was on the premise that both individuals had zero expectation beyond the moment, and certainly no plans for longevity. And my friend did not fit into that category. Once again she slept with a guy on the first date, Which led to this perpetuated cycle of impulsiveness, excitement, satisfaction, shame and regret. If you want a different outcome, you need to change behavior and your entire paradigm. And the plain truth prevails;, men like the chase, and men always pick the girl who makes them wait, and work. They are quite simple. After the initial meet, women are instantly categorized, and when men realize they aren't an easy catch, they either relinquish or intensify the effort. Mainly the latter as they are simple creatures who never shy away from a challenge. So when they are given what the want, instantly, the interest predictably vanishes and their attention is turned to another triumph. The pity is that my friend is almost 40 and she has still not had enough reality beatings to divert her mind set and adopt my 'antiquated views." She still drank like a fish, accepted less than she deserved, and slept with men too quickly..I had not a whit of judgement for her, rather regret for I had been in her shoes too many times and knew what she was missing. The repression of our impulsiveness, though difficult at the moment, will result in your long term goal of companionship and love. And I much prefer waking up to the same warm smile and blue eyes as opposed to a hangover and conveniently empty place where a stranger's head once lay.