Wedding Thoughts..

The moment more blessed now than while occurring
For then a dream, now manifest reality and thus end yearning
I recall bleached sand, your trembling hand, my mother’s tears
The exodus of all past desolation, disappointment and fears
I felt nary a moment’s hesitation, my focus clear
All chaotic stress now finite, nothing matters but this moment here

I remember looking at the clock’, the toll surreal, four o’clock, 30 minutes left until your wedding and thus your remaining single life and wondering how one should feel. How should I feel? My thoughts are racing and vacillate between random meaninglessness and surprising alacrity of depth as I get ready.
Thought #1-The last three months of chaos, change and frustration dwindling to a dim memory. Financial troubles, lifestyle changes, compromise, the dwindling economy, they all seem too trivial at this moment.
#2-My mascara is close to the expiration date-better hit CVS when I get home
.#3-I am forever to be the wife of the man that I adore, the one who truly fits into mine and my families lives, the quintessential missing puzzle piece that completes the diagram, blocks the empty space and makes all facets uniform and correct.
#4-Don’t forget to spray the insect repellant-you are already up to 7 mosquito bites.
#5-Inconsequential gossip, hurtful drama, broken promises, late arrivals, things that use to affect me and were seemingly grand in their affect now flee in insignificance compared to my new priorities, living with and for this person, helping ;provide a home and stability to his children
#6-If my eyelashes clump I am going to be so pissed.
I eye the satin and pearls that will soon shroud my figure proclaiming my temporary status and more permanent role of bride. As I slide the dress over my head, the satin material feels both cold and comforting.
I bend over to fasten the straps of my gold sandals, stand tall and appraise my reflection in the mirror.
As for my physical appearance-Hair-spiral curls intact, nails-check. Dress-perfect (I actually don’t look fat)
And now for the important confirmation-my inner status
Smile-dazzling and assured of this righteous decision, heart-beating strong and steady in its health and confidence, stance-firm and directed as I literally and proverbially prepare to walk down the sandy path towards my groom and my new life.
A small rap on the hotel room door; the wedding coordinator has arrived to escort me to my parent’s room that they may have the honor presenting me to my love during the ceremony.
My mother will be weepy and breathless; she has waited so long for this day.
And all I can feel is laughter and serenity. I hear the saxophone player start, the din of conversation and laughter as the guests arrive. And in my mind’s eye I see his twinkling blue eyes and clear, sweet smile, and all I can think is “I do, I do, I do!!!”