if I should die before I wake

In a prayer to our father, those fateful words “if I should die before I wake” never rang so true for me.

Armed with your love my heart is strong, my life one of solidarity.

If I should die tomorrow it would occur with no regret, for did I know the rapture of love everlasting, to feel part of a unique partnership that sealed the gaping hole in my life with passion, allegiance and true honesty.

To have lived a life surrounded, yet so alone. To never know the sweetness of someone other than my mother wondering and worrying about me..Until there was you-longing for me, desperate for my safety and desiring of my happiness over yours. To look at my many neurosis with a quizzical smile, to never cast judgement over my countless sins though it would be justified if your condemnation chosen, to put a vibrant life on hold if mine were pensive or pending, to cry ancillary tears in honor of my own, to feel a strong sense of accomplishment over my triumphs, to experience physical pain over my own torture, and to assume the responsibility of bearing my burdens and problems without a second thought, now you see why this is not a morbid thought but rather a joyful platitude, that if I were to die tomorrow that I have known true love and completion through you.