Return to match.com

Online dating is a slippery slope. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, always interesting. We have all done it, loved it, hated it, left it and returned to it, much like a bad relationship. An old friend has returned to online dating after a hiatus, and this blog posting was written from her perspective, in her honor, to capture what we have all experienced..

She distinctly remembers the great excitement/apprehension she felt upon first posting her profile to match.com. A flurry of unanswered questions swarmed her mind. Would anyone look at her profile and take an interest? Was the content exiting, informative, characterize her appropriately, or was it scripted and cliché, a cookie cutter version of what everyone else was saying. And so that first evening, heart pounding, nails bitten to the quick, she logged in and was fairly overwhelmed with the large volume of likeminded single men (and some women, gulp) who were interested in her profile. In retrospect she knew how naïve that was, how sometimes match was just a nightclub in cyber space, and it really took a discerning navigator to read through the fluff and select suitable candidates for that first meet. And her second wakeup call and thus extremely crucial lesion learning was the first “meet”. Handling the disappointment and shock over the men that did not resemble their profiles, by twenty years/pounds/ and IQ points. How to handle men who made no qualms about sexual impropriety and their selfish use of the internet as a new medium for physical conquest, at your behest. Not to mention the large amount of simple losers out there looking for love.
After six frustrating months without a solid suitor, she deleted her profile, and took a long and introspective sabbatical. She pondered the experience, weighing the positives vs. the negatives of cyber dating. And while deciding that it was not for her at the moment, she did not rule out an eventual return to match.com for the second go round.
And here she was, two years later, after cleaning the clutter and straightening her spirit, ready to try on line dating again. This time she was much better prepared for the experience, knowing which tactics to employ for the game ahead, and avoiding the silly and yet sometimes debilitating disappointments’ when things didn’t’ work out. For don’t we all get caught up with our thoughts or ideals of what we think a person is going to be, and thus bank on that day dream vs. leave an open mind for what could be a shadier reality. And as she posted her profile, there was no nail biting, no apprehension, rather an appreciation for the wild ride that loomed ahead, and the laughter and lessons it would surely bring the second and better time around. Open mind, open heart, zero expectation, urgency or mad dash. She had time, she was discerning and she would keep her standards high no matter what, for she knew she was a catch and what she brought to the table.
And dear reader, stay tuned for more postings about "return to match .com".