"Fiery Car Crash"

I had a wonderful date, she pondered, and then I never heard from him again.
We were together for 4 months, she cried into her Kleenex, and then he just vanished.
He told me he would call, she pondered; I wonder if he lost my phone number? Yet I provided my cell number, home number, work number, work fax, home fax, skype address, home address, work email address-yes he lost all of this information soon after he was admitted to the rehab hospital for adult onset dementia and the loss of his limbs, thereby rendering it impossible to make contact.
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar to you? I know I have experienced this same disillusionment, where the stirring of hope, spurred by attention and affection from a person of seeming worth, are stifled before given time to flourish from possibility to improbability faster than I can gain a pant size. And that my friend is fast.
A strange and disturbing phenomenon is affecting a targeted male population between 22 and 50, unreported deaths and disappearances are occurring with no explanation, and the numbers are fearfully rising. I call this “fiery car crash phenomena” the inexplicable reason why the seemingly nice guy you spent your valuable time with, who acted with intent and gave promises of future encounters, disappears with out so much as a parting phone call or gift, leaving you a little saddened and a lot questioning. Unfortunately the questioning is of yourself rather than the individual who decided to flee the scene of the crime without nary a by your leave or “I am just not that into you”.
Stop the hopeless tears and questions of self worth. It is one of life’s inexplicable secrets I liken to the Bermuda Triangle or space flight. There is only one possible conclusion I can draw, that the guy you liked has mysteriously perished, whether deep in a comatose state in the nearby hospital ICU, where even in his healing slumber he is tormented by his inability to contact you. Or death by fiery car crash, where your name was surely the last word he uttered before perishing in the sharp rocks below.
What other answer could there be? What rational, kind adult would make that kind of promise but ultimately not deliver in the follow through?
I am unfortunately not the author of the creative title to this syndrome. A brash and creative old room mate of mine offered this an explanation one Friday night when I was crying into my cheerios, bemoaning my fate as the young man with whom I had spent two glorious weeks had simply vanished into thin air.
“He must have died in a fiery car crash” she simply and emphatically stated.
I looked up in surprise.
“Of course it was a fiery car crash, what other reason could there be for his non responsiveness?” She pondered momentarily, and then added “or his hands were cut off and he has no way to call you.” I likened the secondary rationalization to the old adage of “the dog ate my homework” and reverted to the initial proposal. “You must be right” I exclaimed as I feverishly checked the obituary section of the newspaper for any trace of his demise.
This recently happened to me again, after two dates with a very attractive and successful man (age does not preclude this disaster) he simply vanished, no email, no contact, no nothing.
“How is Fred doing” my friends queried. (names have been changed to protect the guilty) “Oh, he is unfortunately in a coma” I proffered, explaining his lack of contact. And of course they all agreed, for surely he would not simply decide to end contact without an explanation. We turned this into a humorous saga, with weekly updates that went as follows
“How is Fred?"-"oh his brother called and his prognosis is not good. However they know he is thinking of me, for when they speak my name he blinks his eyelids twice.” This then progressed to “oh, his brother told me that he unfortunately passed away last night. They asked me to speak at his funeral”. So that is the sad reason why he never called me again.
Putting a humorous twist to a potentially disappointing situation made it that much easier to endure, and reminded us all of the true insignifigance of this in the big picture.
So what is our request? I presume to speak on behalf of womankind when I simply say that though it may be easier for men to merely walk away without any type of explanation, it is difficult for us. Please provide some type of closure. Don’t worry about how you words of rejection may affect our frail egos. The repercussions of the silent, non responsive rejection are far worse.
The moral to this story is, girls, if you don’t hear, shed a tear over the tragic demise of the one for whom you held affection. Dust yourself and move on, for there are plenty of others with the kindness and fortitude to not treat you this way.